Subtle signs of having self doubt.

 

Introduction:

              Feelings of uncertainty about one or more elements of oneself are the symptoms of self-doubt. It is something that all of us could go through at different points in our lives. But when it hinders us, that's when we might want additional strategies for overcoming self-doubt. Self-doubt is bad when it stops you to achieve your dreams, and prevents you to take a leap toward your success but sometimes it helps you to get to know yourself better (like when you and your fellow are in an argument and you are too confident on yourself then you are unable to find your mistake, in this case, doubting yourself will help you).In this article, I'll provide you the most subtle symptoms of self-doubt that we often overlook which could have unintended negative effects. 

Acute procrastination:

                  We often only consider things when they are happening to us for a long time but sometimes the things which are happening for shorter periods might also be a sign of danger. In acute procrastination, we delay our tasks and things for a shorter period. So, the case when we are having self-doubt we are unable to do things that are important and we run from doing those things in the form of procrastination. But sometimes having greater self-doubt about our abilities drive us to shift from acute to chronic procrastination in which we delay our tasks for longer periods. 

               In order to deal with self-doubt, you have to take notice of your self-doubt even in the acute procrastination state because if you don’t, then you will find it hard to deal with. We all have heard small steps make the big leap. This is the same in the case of dealing with your self-doubt, you have to work on even minor errors to avoid bigger mistakes.

Rapid agreement with others:

                At first, this might not seem to be a sign of self-doubt but if you think about it, it is a sign of self-doubt. You might have noticed people who have doubts about their abilities agree with you soo quickly. They never post a comment on you like “No, you are wrong, it’s not like that.” They show this kind of behavior because they have doubts that their abilities are not good enough to make someone else wrong or to rely completely on them. They have always the fear that something they say wrong will embarrass them in the crowd.

               In a self-doubt state, we focus all on what others think of us and this kind of mindset puts us into a further bad state of self-doubt. When we care what others will say to us or think about us we are only valuing them because we think that they are better than us. 

Unwilling to receive critical feedback:

                Whenever we have done something and we have self-doubt, we feel reluctant to receive any kind of negative feedback. We only want to hear the positive things about our work. In these types of cases, people use “The blocking statement”. In “The blocking statement” a person having self-doubt before getting feedback from someone always says that “I know I am not good enough” or “I know it isn’t that much good”. These kinds of statements give the respondent the sense that if they give critical feedback on your work (meaning pointing out the mistakes in your work) then you will give up on that work. So, they end up giving you nice feedback (which might not be true). 

               My advice to everyone is that when you are getting feedback on something, always think that there are also mistakes in your work but you can improve them if you really notice them. If before getting the feedback you believe that whatever you have done is not worthy then there are chances that you will not get effective feedback.

In the Self-doubt case, you are always reluctant to listen to critical feedback because there is fear inside you that you are not good enough and that whatever you have done is not good, and listening to such feedback increases your self-doubt and turns your self-doubt into a belief. 

Influence of your environment:

            We might have no idea what our environment puts an impact on achieving our goals. If from our childhood we are in an environment where everyone praises us and cheers us on our accomplishments then we are very confident and there are very rare chances of having self-doubt. But if we are in an environment where people say to us “You should not try this, this isn’t your thing” or “You are not good enough or capable of doing this”. Then unconsciously these comments have a great impact on your brain even if you make yourself believe that these comments are not affecting you but actually they are affecting you unconsciously.

               In his book “Thinking fast and slow”, Daniel Kahneman said: “A reliable way to make people believe in falsehoods is frequent repetition because familiarity is not easily distinguished from truth.” And this is so true in the case of self-doubt if somebody keeps on saying to us that we are not worthy. Maybe, for the time being, we do not believe in them but after some time we started believing in them that whatever they are saying is true. So, Distance yourself from the people who are discouraging you or making you doubt your abilities. 

You perceive negativity from bad experiences:

                        Self-doubt also arises when you always extract negative things from your failures. Dealing with your failures is always a difficult task but at least extracting something positive from your failure is not. Let’s say you have a failure on something you have put your effort into and now you are so disappointed with the results. In this kind of situation, there are always so many negative thoughts popping out like “ I am not capable of achieving something bigger”. But you have to deal with these kinds of thoughts and yes you can deal with them.

                     Having a failure is never ever a bad thing in life but getting defeated by your own thoughts is a bad thing. You don’t have to run from your negative thoughts, you just have to answer them effectively and change them into positive ones. All you have to do is to extract possible things from your setbacks. And then you will be fully able to deal with your self-doubt.

Quotes on Self Doubt: 

“You should never doubt yourself because you never, ever know what’s around the corner.”

 By Kellie Pickler 

“Believe in your infinite potential. Your only limitations are those you set upon yourself. Believe in yourself, your abilities, and your own potential. Never let self-doubt hold you captive. You are worthy of all that you dream of and hope for.”

By Roy.T Bennett

 

And the last quote, which is my favorite one for dealing with your failures.

“Life is not going to go your way. You have to go your way and take life with you.”

By Jay Shetty

Conclusion: 

                   Self-doubt is a behavior in which we doubt our abilities and prevent ourselves from achieving big things in life. Although this is an unconscious thing we all sometimes experience in our life, dealing with it is all in our control. Clapping for ourselves when no one else is cheering us is all in our control rather than criticizing ourselves for our mistakes like others do. Self-doubt can be overcome when we start believing that we can commit mistakes but likewise we can also improve them.